A Christmas story
by ElementoftheGerbil
Summary: The gangs meet at the Hyperion for a Christmas in June. Well...it's Christmas in December for them. No timeline, completly AU, except for a canon paring the rest are inside. Just harmless fluff, so read and enjoy! SLASH!


Disclaimer: I don't own any of them…but if I did, oh, if I did. Just, don't sue, okay? Thanks!

A/L, W/Gu, C/Gi, S/X, Wi/F, B/R

"Oh come on!" Lorne protested. "Just put your hand in!"

"For the last time, NO!" Angel looked at the thing Lorne was wiggling in front of him with a face of disgusted awe. "If the powers wanted me to put my hand in, they would've made the hole bigger. Why can't you do it?"

"It's a little thing called a manicure Angelcakes. Besides, it's gooey."

Angel scowled. "See, even you don't want to!"

"Of course not," Lorne snorted. "I've been getting prepared all day, and when I ask you to do one thing, you can't even preform! Pick it up lazybuns!"

Angel finally relented. "Fine. But do you have any rubbers or latexes? All I have is cloth."

Lorne tossed the package of latexes to Angel, gave him a quick but passionate kiss, and walked out the door, leaving the souled vampire alone with the offending object.

The pink, uncooked turkey was laying on the table with all the glory a naked bird could muster, white legs spread open. Angel stretched the latex glove over his large hand, closed his eyes, and began his hunt for the elusive giblets.

At the same time that Angel was molesting the bird, two very unmanly giggles were trying to be supressed in the lobby. Wesley Whyndam-Pryce and Charles Gunn had been hiding behind the front desk ever since Lorne had exited the kitchen. Gunn cupped Wes's ear in his hand and whispered. "Did we get all the giblets out?"

"Every last one." Wes's face turned serous. "And, even if Angel's misreable, I'm sure the bird is enjoying it." Both men looked at eachother and didn't even try to hide their loud laughter. Suddenly, there was a shadow, and they looked up to see Angel looming over them., wearing a scowl and a turkey mitten. He opened his mouth to speak, but Cordelia's voice came out.

"Wes? Gunn? Did you guys take care of the oh my GOD! ANGEL! What the hell are you doing? Get your hand out of our dinner! Just because you're not eating doesn't mean the rest of us are gonna guzzle pig's blood all night. Why is your hand in the turkey again?" Cordy was giving Angel the full on death glare, waiting for him to explain.

"There was...um...Lorne, and-and giblets...um...gloves...turkey...evil giblets. Turkey?" The poor vampire looked so confused that Wes and Gunn almost took pity on him. Almost. Cordelia saw the guys and turned on them.

"It was your job to clean the turkey!"

Gunn got in Cordy's face. "We did!" At her increased death glare, he backed down. "We just...neglected to tell anyone. 'Specially Angel."

She let out a war cry worty of an Amazon and swung her packages at them, causing the men to retreat into Wesley's office. Cordelia put her hand on the vampire's turkey-less arm and led him into the kitchen. "Let's get you cleaned up hun. The Scoobies are gonna be here in four hours, so I'll put the turkey in the oven. You just...watch your soaps."

Three hours later, the lobby was filled with Christmas cheer. The only thing missing was a reindeer. Lorne had voulnteered to bring in a few, but they discarded the idea after remembering Spike and Xander's late-night zoo break in. The gang had learned a valuable lesson that night; the only thing reindeer liked less then being ridden by a short, drunk vampire and his boyfriend was wearing Very Berry lip gloss and being called Sheniqua. It was even worse when they happend at the same time. In light of this memory, Angel decided that the only alcohol Spike could have was in one glass of eggnog. He was hiding his good stuff.

He looked behind him to see Fred surveying the hotel, clipboard in hand. She had told them that it was her first Christmas since she had been sucked in Pylea. She wanted to make it perfect. She looked at her clipboard, then looked around smiling.

"The only thing we're missin' is the Sunnydale folks. I can't wait to meet 'em. They all sound so nice!"

Angel chuckled. "Just beware of the Spike and Xander."

"Spike and Xander?"

"Bleached wonder and his boy toy. You'll know em when you see em."

"Ah. Hey, do you if dinner's ready? Last time I checked, the turkey smelled deliscious, just like my mom used to make."

"Stupid turkey."

"What?"

Cordelia's voice rang out through the hotel. "Fred and Wes! Could you guys help me set the table?" Her voice faded, but they still heard her say "Jeez, can't even get decent help."

"What makes you think that I should set the table?" Wesley huffed and crossed his arms. "Why can't Charles do it? Or Angel? Angel's feminine!"

They all heard Angel's growl. Wesley, however, being the M-A-N that he was, only flinched a little bit.

"Wes," Cordy said, "when the hospital stops asking us if you're a battered spouse, we'll stop these outrageous accusations of you being the wife in your relationship."

Gunn came in and wrapped his arms around Wes, nipping at his ear. "I hate that hospital. They always give me dirty looks. And besides," he said, glaring at her, "he looks cute in that little apron!"

"Eww..." Cordy scrunched her nose.

Before Wes could defend what was left of his manhood, the doors of the hotel swooshed open, letting gift-laden Scoobies inside. Xander followed, carrying a blanket wrapped Spike.

"Umm, the sun set fifteen minutes ago." Fred looked confused.

"I know," replied Xander. "The little guy was sleepy." As if on cue, a head of ruffled blone hair, followed by half-open blue eyes popped out. "We here, Xanpet?"

Xander kissed his head. "Yep. Up an out."

Buffy laughed. "TMI Xander. TMI."

"HEY!"

"CORDY!" Willow and Cordelia ran to eachother. The two girls talked all the time, but rarely got to see eachother. The people famalir with eachother hugged, while the newer people hung back.

"I think," Giles said, "that introductions are in order. Buffy?"

"Oh, this is Reily Finn, my boyfriend of four months. Solider extrodinare." She looked at Fred and Gunn. "This is Willow Rosenberg, Rupert Giles, and Xander and Spike Harris."

"I'm Fred Burkle, and this is Charles Gunn..."

"Call me Gunn."

The Scoobies nodded. Gunn went up to Reily, noticing his gun. The two were engaged in an intense talk of weapons with Buffy, which had Wesley worrying. Spike and Xander settled on a couch and were in deep conversation about how fish had sex. Willow and Fred stayed on opposite sides of the room and were glancing shyly at eachother. Fred thought Willow was beautiful, but knew the other girl would never be interested...

Giles was amazed at how much Cordy had grown. But, why was she holding a child? He would have known if she was pregnant. Surely Willow would have told? He mentally hit himself, that was Connor! Besides, why would he be concerned if Cordelia had a child? Cordelia looked at Giles, and brought Connor over. Soon the two were making silly faces and noises at the child, causing him to laugh. Suddenly a thought struck Cordelia: Giles would make a great father. The wheeles in her head were turning. How come she had never noticed he was so handsome? Must've been the tweed.

Wesley went over to sit next to Angel.

"You're not allowed to brood on Christmas."

"Did Lorne tell you when he was getting off?"

"I don't think that's my business." Angel glared. "No, he didn't. We were hiding, remember? Evil turkey? Why are you so nervous anyway?"

"I haven't..." Angel trailed off, leaving Wesley with a look of shock.

"You haven't told them that you have a.."

"Shut up!"

"...stork?"

"Stork?"

"Offical code word for a lime green boyfriend until you decide become a man. Angelcakes."

"I will become a man! When my...stork...gets back. I want to tell everyone with him here. He's better with the people skills, where I would just blurt out some embarrassing detail about how his dick is pink..."

"Pink!"

"You didn't hear it from me, and no one will hear it from you."

"Oi! Can I tell 'em, then?" Spike and Xander looked over at the two other men, wide grins on their faces.

"Spike, that's not very nice. Rock paper scissors?"

Before Angel could answer, Buffy popped up.

"Can we eat now?"

Wesley shot a short glare at Angel. "We're waiting for one more person to show up, he should be here in no time."

"Alright. Oh, Wes, congrats on the boyfriend. Very cute. He's a keeper." Wes smiled and blushed before getting up and joining Gunn, Cordelia, Giles, and Connor on the floor. Giles and Gunn had their respective guitars out, playing an unidentifiable melody for Connor. Wesley nudged Cordelia and slyly pointed Giles. She turned red and buried her face in Wes's shoulder, not wanting Giles to see her face.

Willow and Fred had finally made their way over to eachother. Their eyes met and their faces lit up when Fred looked down again.

"You're Willow, right?"

"Yeah." Willow smiled. She was so cute! She took the other girl's hand in a soft handshake. Fred looked up and smiled. "It's good to meet you."

Suddenly Fred was excited. "I heard you were really into computers! You should see this new software I installed in mine..." Willow laughed to herself as Fred babbled and led her up to her room, unaware of what it looked like to the rest of the Scoobies and Fang Gang. Spike looked at Xander. "Can we go 'look at the computer' too?"

"No baby. You're gonna stay right here with me." With that, Xander pulled Spike in a kiss and neither were to be heard from.

Buffy and Reily had also disspeared, the same as Willow and Fred, although they were doing something much less innocent than looking at a computer. 'I think I locked my room', thought Angel. He was about to get up and check when Lorne's voice wafted through the hotel. The Scoobies jumped up at the same time.

"Demon!" Said Xander. "A green, silky demon! Buffy!"

All Willow, Fred, Buffy, and Reily heard was Xander yell demon. They came running out of their rooms, Buffy brandishing a dagger, and Willow preping for a spell.

"WAIT!" Angel stood up and everyone quited. He went up to Lorne and gave him a hug. "I didn't think you were gonna be back for another hour baby."

"I didn't want to keep you kids waiting." With that, he gave Angel a kiss.

"Hold up, hold up, hold up. This is your boyfriend?" Buffy looked between Lorne and Angel a couple times as they nodded their heads. "Let me get this straight, you're all green but your dick is pink?" Everyone let out a laugh, including the vampire, and Lorne was introduced to everyone.

"And that's Spike and Xander in the corner." Giles pointed to the huddled mass emitting kissing noises.

"Let's eat!" Buffy ran toward the kitchen. Everyone followed her, even though it took Gunn and Reily to pry Spike off Xander. Soon they were placed at the table, Angel and Giles each at on end. The food and blood was brought out. Wesley put a giblet in Angel's blood when he wasn't looking, and fun was had by all when the souled vampire screamed. Buffy was showing Gunn the proper way to stake a vampire with a yam and a toothpick, making Spike very uncomfortable. Xander's hand dissapeared under the table and Spike suddenly didn't care anymore. Willow and Fred were talking excitedly, and Giles and Cordelia had left to go feed Connor. Wesley and Reily even struck up a conversation, if you could call it that. Even after they had both been fired by their respective emloyers, the Council and the Initiative, they still stuck to their taught ways to kill demons. Wesley thought it was appaling that Reily had only killed 17 befor meeting the Slayer, and Reily thought it was appaling that watchers would kill things in ties.

When the meal was done, the gang went in the lobby to open presents. Becasue there were so many of them, they had done an old fashioned Secret Santa. Wesley had gotten Buffy a silver mace that had a button on the handle that activated a pop-out blade. Buffy bought Gunn a book called "How to Kill Things With Common Household Items.". Gunn got Cordelia a silver and jade necklace, and she bought Giles a book that Willow told her he had been wanting. Lorne and Angel exchanged gifts; a silk shirt for Lorne and a brown leather sketchbook for Angel. Xander didn't tell anyone what he had gotten Spike, or what Spike had gotten him, no one really wanted to know. Spike bought Fred a demonic puzzle, and Fred bought Reily a sacrficial knife (she had done an extensive background check). Willow made Wesley a potion for Gunn. It was supposed to heighten something but the rest of the Scoobies had left before she could finish, hands over their ears.

It was reaching around 2 am, and the Scoobies were preparing to leave. Reily, Buffy, Xander, and Spike were out the door, having already said their goodbyes. Willow walked up to Fred.

"Do you think...do you think it would be okay if I called you sometime?" She stammered, barely being able to look the cute brunette in the eye.

Fred smiled. She had gained a lot of confidence as the night progressed. "It would be more than okay." She took Willow's hand and wrote her cell phone's, then the lobby's. She gave Willow a quick kiss on the cheek and ran back into the kitchen, red as an ornament. Willow squealed and ran out to the cars.

Giles and Cordelia were both more mature than the two girls, and met in the middle of the lobby.

"I would love to see you again." Giles smiled at Cordelia, his green eyes meeting her hazel ones. She pulled the older man down to a soft kiss that lasted for several seconds. "It's a date." He kissed her once more and squeezed her hand before leaving. Once she was sure that there were no more Scoobies lurking in the hotel, she jumped in the air and squealed. Fred came running out of the kitchen. The girls joined hands and were jumping up and down, singing "We've got dates! We've got dates!"

The two other couples were suddenly very happy to be made of men.


End file.
